Last night we went to a remembrance gathering at the home of a dear friend who is Yaqui and who likes to continue some of the customs she was brought up with. We were invited because she knew we had each lost someone important to us in the past year -- in our case it was our friend Gabriel, who passed on New Year's Day. Accordingly, we made some of his favorite dishes to bring, and packed along a few photos.
There were ten of us present. First we sat together around the candle-lit living room, joined hands, thought about all the family and friends we have loved and lost, not just in the past twelve months, and we invited them to be with us in spirit if they wished to be. Then we took one little plate and dished a bit of everything onto it, as a symbol of including them in the meal, and we sat ourselves down at the long table, feasting on beans and chorizo, cucumber salad, homemade rose mead, fry bread, and a wonderful traditional spicy beef and veggie soup. When we had eaten we went back to the living room, where there was a dish of little cards with the names of all the people we had come to honor. One by one the names were drawn and we told stories about them, the things we remember best, while his or her picture was being passed around the circle. There was laughter and there were tears as we talked about young friends and very elderly relatives and all sorts of folks in between, even people we had never met but who touched our lives in some way, such as Madeleine L'Engle. Each card was then burned, with wishes for the continued joy of that departed soul.
Lovely custom.
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